I Dated X

It turns out that my date's twins are actually not mine, and I don't get the custody of them either.

I lost my wife and affair at the same time. Damn it... I was so close officializing my affair...

Well, honesty is the best virtue in my dating book, and it didn't work for him. My heart is broken. Big time.

I'm so considering making my second blog called 'I Dated X' following others' advice. Maybe I should give up on an idea of a long term relationship. I should just keep dating writing "I dated x" huh?

My sister in law

When my brother married her, the couple lived right upstairs of my parents' place. The first morning after honeymoon, she knocked on my bedroom door in downstairs about 7:00 am.

She said, 'sister, there are cockroaches in the kitchen!' Of course there were! Then she asked me 'please kill them for me.' I went to the kitchen with her, but you know how it works. They already ran off. I told her, 'sister, I don't see any. They won't come out while you're here.' But she said, 'no, I can't stay here by myself. Please stay here until my husband comes down.'

Come on! It was 7 am in the morning! I sat on the table dozing off until my brother came down.

When I met her younger brother, I told him the story. 'Did you know that your sister was afraid of bugs?' He said, 'of course. When we were young, I always took advantage of it. I asked her to give me 20 cents. If she said no, I would grab a carterpillar and threaten her that I would eat it. Then she always ended up crying and gave me 20 cents.' What a brother, huh?

When her baby became three or so, the baby had a mosquito bite on her cheek. I asked her, 'oh you poor thing. What can I do for you?' She said, 'please kill it for me, aunt.'

Oh my god!

I'm So Divorcing You, Nobu.

I admit that I haven't been a good husband. I cheated on you a number of times, and you sometimes even didn't know that I was having an affair while others knew.

However, I've been supportive a number of ways. I stayed over a long weekend at the lab with you. I didn't complaint when you even couldn't help me with "technological problems". I threw a surprise birthday party for you, and I tolerated your soprano tone of songs. When you didn't want to see movies with me, I didn't complaint. When others blame or complaint about you, I always stood up for you.

BUT, you didn't. You were the only one who knew I did my own homework. Instead of backing me up, you questioned me if I copied yours. Damn you! Didn't you know I always do my own HWs and am confident of my answers?

I couldn't believe my ears! I'm so divorcing you, Nobu. Being supportive is the best virtue in marriage by my book. I'm officially ending our marriage. Moreover, I'm tired of this polygamy. You're all Nat's from now, and I'll be with my date.

I must tell you that my date is pregnant with twins. I don't know if they're mine, but he insists we should throw a baby shower and everything. He's already promised me not to fight for custody-if anything happens, I keep the babies. Fine by me. I guess it works for everybody.

I wish you the best.

From your Ex-Husband.

Animal Cracker

To whom it may concern,

I'm filing this complaint letter to Costco in Goleta because you have substituted animal crackers with abc crackers.

I purchased the animal crakers six months ago and fell in love with it. I must admit that my roommate and I finished the whole jar less than 5 days. When we came back next time to buy more of those, they were gone. There were abc crackers instead of the animal crackers. The animal crackers haven't come back since then.

It is worse than me not ever having the animal crackers. You let me taste it and took it away forever. I don't care for the abc crackers although my roommate seems to be fine with it.

I demand you should have the animal crackers back. Otherwise, you'll hear more of these complaint letter.

Sincerely,

Kyung-Ae Oh